JimThink

Nice Weekend. Now, I'm depressed.

2006-10-02T15:09:00.000-07:00

Depression. Other sentence fragments. Ennui. What a good word, Ennui. Deceptively fun to say.

I had a nice time this weekend visiting all of Teri's relatives. We went to Salmon Fest in Leavenworth and had a good time. Next year, I may enter the chalk art contest.

Then we came home and everything was right where we left it. I hate that. Brownies should clean when I'm away from home. And then cook a nice dinner and have it ready when I walk in. And draw a bubble bath in the fancy hot tub that they installed in the new basement they dug under the stairs. The hot tub should be next to the game room and there should be a plasma TV on the the wall. One of those obscenely large ones that I could watch football on (if I watched football, which I might if I had a huge plasma TV and a hot tub).

Then the brownies should go away, leaving lots of cash on the kitchen counter to buy pizza with after the left-overs from the big dinner are gone. They could leave the cash right next to the keys to my new motorcycle (which they should have custom built after they dug the basement) that way I don't have to walk my lazy butt to class. And then they can call their little leprechaun buddies (on their own phones, talk about long distance charges!) and have them make new shoes for the kids. Just because.

Holy Crowds Batman!

2006-09-29T10:13:00.000-07:00

Okay. Going to the In-Laws for the weekend. Normally a pretty cool thing. They're nice folks who have a great place on an orchard up in the hills. Its beautiful and peaceful there. This weekend there is going to be a huge crowd of people. The Mom and Dad; 2, The Sister and family; 4, The Cousin and family; 4, the Neice; 1, the Uncle and family; 5 and Us; 4. That's 20. Add to that the very real possibility of the other Sister and her bunch ( another 5) and the Uncle and Aunt who live nextdoor as well as the girlfriend of one of the nephews and we're up to 28.

I'm too old and cranky to sleep on the floor and its going to be too cold to pitch a tent outside. This adds up to a potentially stressfull mix. I'm a bit afraid of this little weekend get-away.

Yipes! New stuff!

2006-09-05T14:54:00.000-07:00

I actually added something. I'm so proud. See the keen link to my Facebook profile over there on the right? Click it.

A blog? I have a blog?

2006-06-09T21:43:00.000-07:00

You know, I almost never post here. I had almost forgotten I even had a blog. Bad Jim. I'll try to post something substantive in the next few days.

Twisted art?

2006-03-19T11:21:00.000-08:00

I'm taking an advanced drawing class this semester that is looking at the performance art movement. The textbook is frightening. I'm still a bit conservative, I suppose, because a bunch of the stuff in that book isn't art to me. Some of it looks like blatant appeals for the intervention of mental health professionals.

With that in mind, I've made it a point thus far to choose projects for myself that don't harm anyone physically ( and hopefully only jar slightly on the mental or emotional level) while still being creative and compelling enough to stand on their own. I think I've done pretty well so far, I'm pulling a B+ or A- by my calculations.

But the final project, oi. We have to pick a historical figure, read a biography of same and then take on the role of that person to perform 5 acts in the world. These acts are then to be documented by drawings, paintings or photographs (the prof has a very fluid definition of "drawing"). Not so bad, really.

Except, I picked Vlad Tepes. Mostly because I was interested in reading the book (which spends chapters on Hollywood vampires and literary vampires as well). But it occurs to me now that maybe the class is getting to me, at least as far as my choice of historical figure goes. I'm about halfway through the book and I realize that some of the stuff this guy is thought to have done isn't so very far removed from some of the "art" pieces in the creepy textbook.

So, I'm going to try to turn it around. I'm not sure just how yet but I think I can find a way to use old Vlad the Impaler to shine a light on the depravity of the whole movement we're looking at. Wish me luck. Or else its the stake for you! ;)

For Duncan

2006-03-15T12:13:00.000-08:00

Okay, what if the wheel of samsara actually turns counter to our perception of time? The Hindu concept of reincarnation then leads to each successive life being further and further back in time. Each previous generation being smaller than the current one, we see more and more souls attaining nirvana as we proceed back in time.

Perhaps then animal souls become karmicly more pure than human souls? The ever increasing number of people in the world, according to our perception of time as flowing into the future, gives an indication of the great number of souls that began with Brahman. The number of extinctions within the animal world follows then, and by extension, eventually all animal species must die out and only humans will be left on or in the world. Humans being the basic form of soul from which the cycle started.

Take that! :)

The wonder of youth

2006-03-03T20:50:00.000-08:00

I was walking my 5 year old son into preschool yesterday. He was eager to get inside in the hopes of being the first one in his class to arrive (this is an enormously huge deal when you're 5). As we stepped up onto the sidewalk another family got out of their car to head inside just in front of us. They had a little girl who had to be around 4.

My son takes one look at her and says (loudly, because its cool to be loud when you're 5) "Look at that baby! She's tiny!" His tone positively dripped a proud sense of superiority (you're not a baby when you're 5). Then the tiny diminutive person, seat of such wonder, performed a miracle even greater than that of existing with a smaller stature than that of a 5 year old. She spoke to her mother!

My son heard this (your hearing isn't mangled by headphones when you're 5) and he cried out in abject awe. His little voice so full of wonder that small mammals and birds darted out of the shrubbery to have a glimpse, he yelled, "AND, she can TALK!"

I felt such pride that my own son has not yet grown so world weary and cynical that he can't appreciate the wonder of an honest-to-goodness talking 4 year old. Next, we'll go looking for a surly and antisocial teenage boy! What joy!

Dishwasher

2006-01-25T18:44:00.000-08:00

I am an emperor, a demi-god, a hero, a prince. I know this to be true because I no longer wash my own dirty dishes. Yes, you heard correctly.

Surely this is what separated us from the lower animals; the drive to find new and interesting ways to avoid responsibility and get out of work. What (other) savage primate, be he ever so noble, could aspire to such heights of excellence? What proud beast of the field can claim such luxurious excess?

Why for slightly more than I would have otherwise spent on dishwashing liquid for a period of 20-30 years and a significantly increased water and electric bill I can go out and buy a machine to do the petty work for me. I think I'm a genius too! But wait, there's more! I _didn't_have to pay for it. My neighbors just didn't want to move it! So, by what I choose to assume is the very Will of Nature I now have one of these fabulous devices. Thus I am freed to opine on matters great and small for what one would assume would be huge spans of time, time I no longer need to spend washing up. One would assume this until one realizes that it takes as long to load and unload the blasted thing as to wash the dishes by hand! And, if that weren't bad enough, there is _Never_ enough room for everything you used fixing dinner, so you have to run it twice!

I'm a buffoon, a patsy, a clown. But at least I don't have to wash my own dishes.

A Pantheist Ontology

2006-01-25T12:30:00.000-08:00

Per St. Anselm, God is that than which nothing greater can be conceived, a being that contains every possible perfection. If such a being existed only in the mind it would be less great than if it existed in reality. Thus it would not be than which nothing greater can be conceived.

Existence is thus a perfection. Intellect is also a perfection since it enables us to contemplate the nature of the world around us. But a being with intellect is less perfect than a being with -all- intellects. Likewise, form is a perfection. Having the form of a rock or a squirrel is a perfection, but having any one form is less perfect than having all forms.

Therefore, god, being that than which nothing greater can be conceived and having all possible perfections must not only exists but also must be immanent in the totality of the universe itself.

Sometimes I suspect I have too much free time.

Things Fall Together

2006-01-25T12:00:00.000-08:00

So, the last few years I've been thinking a good bit about identity. How do we construct ourselves? Is it all environment and inheritence or do we get to pick and choose what we want to be parts of ourselves. I've come to think its most often the former rather than the later. But, only in as much as we choose to allow ourselves to be thus constructed.
Consider Foucoult's model of power. Societal structures develop a level of power over and above that held by individuals. A case in point is the number and frequency of ads we are bombarded with for new drugs. Ask your doctor if Nexium is right for you! Do you have any of these symptoms...? If so you should talk to your doctor about Zyrtec. You may be suffering from Early Onset Diabetes and not even know it. You should talk to your doctor about ___! Eventually we start asking ourselves these questions and we allow the influence of the media and the doctors and the drug companies to influence our perceptions of ourselves. But Foucoult's model allows for our own agency too. We are free to resist the pressures that impact us.
Exercising that freedom to resist is something that we are very rarely encouraged to do. When we decide to step back and think about it sometimes we find that we really aren't troubled by our Male Performance enough to seek out a years supply of Enzyte. In that case we are free to choose what we take into ourselves, both literally and figuratively. It also seems from my own experience that once you start being selective about these things its much easier to continue being discerning. You learn to look and listen but also to think about what you are seeing and hearing. That makes a huge difference.
With that in mind, I have found, all of a sudden, that I seem to have surrounded myself with opportunities to examine my self image and the things I have chosen to make a part of me. I have picked projects and selected classes on an intuitive level that ended up focusing on the very things I was mulling over. It wasn't a deliberate, conscious choice but there it is, nonetheless. Having positioned myself thus I can only try to make the most of the opportunity. Who am I? Well, I get to pick and if you have something you want me to include I recommeend you polish your sales pitch. Because I'm down right finicky.

2006-01-22T07:28:00.000-08:00

I saw a movie last night, which in fairness-sake shall remain nameless. Some of you have probably seen it too. Without giving away too much, its that one directed by Terry Gilliam from Monty Python. You know, the one with Matt Damon and Heath Ledger? Still not ringing any bells? It has the words "Grimm"and "Brothers" in the title (which I shan't reveal). With me now?

So, it was not a great example of the filmmaker's art. In fact, its not really even worth discussing. But it did make me think of something, so let's move on to that, shall we? As a culture. do we still appreciate craftsmanship? We ooh and aah over "artists"(some of them anyway) but do we really value craftsmanship? The ability to do one thing exceedingly well used to be well respected. Now it seems, if it doesn't challenge issues at every remove, something expertly made is less than well thought of. And don't get me started on subltety. We seem to want everything to be like an Heironymus Bosch, rampant overt symbolism in overwhelming quantities. Its as if we crave the dialogue, just not enough to work for it.

Maybe, the mass media and the communications industry have spoiled us. Its no longer rare to be exposed to a true artist, almost regardless of the field of endeavor you are talking about. Once it was a rare thing. Perhaps that should lessen the impact of the single-focus craftsman. I would maintain that there is still beauty in somethings just because they are so well constructed. A film, for example, need not have a cutting edge plot or incredible acting or sharp, witty dialogue, to be a pleasure to watch. Sometimes it doesn't need range or depth. Even one single sustained note can evoke wonder, right?

Or else maybe it just sucked.

Insurance woes

2006-01-20T15:42:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think the insurance industry is evil. The rest of the time my opinion of it is rather lower. In fact, I think I'll just spontaneously stop having any medical issues whatsoever. That way I won't have to bother with insurance ever again. That should teach 'em!

First Post

2006-01-17T07:02:00.000-08:00

Arrr! A place to rant and rave and work out my issues with a keyboard.